Lurch, Opie, Uncle Al, Alfred E. Newman’s Brother and the rest of the Seven Stooges

Now that Howie, has self-destructed, what about rest of this sorry group of stooges. We’ll take Lurch first because he’s the front-runner:

John Heinz Kerry: Looks like Lurch’s younger brother. He appears to be what’s settled out of the lousy Democratic pack. You might call him he highest of the lowest common denominator.

He’s going to fight against tax cuts for the wealthy? Mr. John Heinz $500+ million net worth Kerry is going to fight tax cuts for the wealthy and fight for "working people"? Right!

He supported the war resolution now has twisted his position to say that he doesn’t support the war because it’s the politically correct thing to do in a party whose thinks its main constituencies are aging flower children and young peaceniks led astray by the aging flower children. It’s all about pandering to the wackos.

What the main plank in Lurch’s campaign platform? He wants to throw George Bush out of office. Now there’s some real vision! Nothing says more about the bankruptcy of ideas in the Democratic Party than the fact that their main "big idea" is to defeat President Bush. You want to stump John Kerry (or any other Democrat for that matter) all you have to do is ask two questions: Why defeat President Bush and what if you do? The answers you get back will be a garbled mass of liberal rhetoric that doesn’t add up to a pile of donkey crap. But if you listen carefully, you’ll hear a complete lack of vision for what this country is, what freedom means and the direction Mr. John Heinz “Lurch” Kerry wants to take this country. And you’ll realize that where John Kerry wants to take us is no place we want to go.

John Edwards: With that young-looking Southern Opie and Andy face and that "aw shucks" demeanor, John Edwards could be real trouble. He has a Clintonesque way of cloaking issues in confusing populist rhetoric that almost sounds conservative. In these times, when most people spend more time thinking about who should win American Idol than who should be the leader of the free world, Edwards could pose the same type of trouble for freedom and democracy that Clinton did only worse – he’s Clinton without the scummy film. Fortunately, the Democrats are in the process of anointing Lurch which may leave Edwards on the bottom of the Democratic ticket come fall which isn’t necessarily good for GW.

Wesley Clark – Rule of thumb -- never trust a general who’s a Democrat and good ole Wes is proving this true. He’s a nut, for God’s sake! And his campaign has taken a spectacular nose dive. The many comparisons to General Buck Turgidson in Dr. Strangelove are very appropriate.

Joe Lieberman: In order to be politically correct enough to be accepted in his party, he needs to change his name to Joe Lieberperson. Judging from his "dead heat" for third speech after he went down in flames in the New Hampshire primary, Joe’s pretty out of touch with reality. Do we really want someone this out of touch with reality to be running the country? Aside from the fact that no Democrat can be trusted to be at the helm of our great ship of freedom, we certainly don’t want a Democrat who can’t even be honest with himself and his supporters about his chances. His former running mate wouldn’t even support him! Besides, none of us could dealing with having to listen to that nasaly whine for four years.

Dennis Kucinich: Aside from the fact that he’s a stark raving socialist from hell and proud of it, he looks like Alfred E. Newman’s younger brother. Would you want one of Alfred E. Newman’s relatives running the country?

Al Sharpton: You can sum up Uncle Al in two words: Tawana Brawley. This guy is a shyster from hell. The legitimacy of his candidacy speaks volumes about the sorry state of the Democratic Party in 2004. Can you imagine if the Republicans had accepted David Duke in their list of presidential aspirants? There’s no difference except that the Democrats do it and get by with it.

Bottom line: These guys are what has risen to the top of the bottom of the barrel? Do we really want to trust any of these numbskulls with the future of this nation? NO WAY IN HELL!!!!!