Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Chief of the Food Police Harasses Gabby Douglas

By now everyone has probably heard about this:

Yes, it's the Chief of the Food Police Michele Obama scolding Olympic Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas for telling Jay Leno she celebrated her gold medal win by eating an Egg McMuffin.

 It isn't possible for this woman to be more annoying than her husband because she's not actively engaged in  "fundamentally transforming" our society into something that more closely resembles Venezuela that it does the greatest country on the face of the earth. She does, however, have this Eva Peron quality about her in the way she wants to dictate to us "peasants" out in the cheap seats what we should eat and what we shouldn't, how much exercise we should engage in on a daily/weekly/monthly basis and what type of celebratory meal is appropriate for a girl who is enough of an extraordinary physical specimen that she can jump around and do back flips on a four inch wide beam poised three feet off the ground. I'm thinking Gabby Douglas is the one who is in a better position than Mrs. Food Policeman to be lecturing about diet and appropriate amounts of physical activity. Furthermore, I think a diminutive gymnast in excellent physical condition can afford the luxury of the occasional Egg McMuffin. Besides, I thought eggs, cheese and muffins were good for you. And even if an Egg McMuffin was as bad for you as rat poison, it's really none of Mrs. Obama's damn business who does and who doesn't eat one.  Perhaps the Chief of the Food Police ought to join hands with Mr. Big Gulp Mike Bloomberg and take a long walk off a short pier. I urge everyone to celebrate Gabby's gold medal by going out and buying several Egg McMuffins.

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